Attitude shift: Handle the drift

How often have you felt like a fish out of water? Perhaps some of us can relate to this idiom closely and for others, it may be an erratic experience, not something they have been regularly subjected to.

But, all of us in some ways have undergone this slightly numbing experience to varying degrees. How does one then manage to stay on an even keel? What are the best mechanisms to handle this situation?

What is it then with humans that they tend to discriminate at the smallest pretext? The strange thing though is that it is not an essential part of human nature, but a socially learned and acquired behaviour.

Human behaviour in general falls across a spectrum of extremes. It is a typical or atypical response to internal and external stimuli throughout life.

CONFORMING TO THE ENVIRONMENT: Constant Control

Several situations or environments require us to be in constant control of ourselves. As in, there is very little space or leeway to be one’s real self as conforming to a set of rules becomes essential. This is reasonably acceptable and works well, if it is related to a formal set-up, such as an office space, an institution, or a formal meeting in an informal surrounding. In such situations, no one is averse to exercising control or being on a tight rope so to speak, as one is only following protocol and working in cohesion towards a common goal.

However, there is every possibility that even after learning the ropes one is uncomfortable or is made to feel like the odd one out. What does one do in a situation of this kind?

SOCIAL SUFFOCATION: Humans are gregarious by nature and thrive in groups. Little pockets of solitude help to rejuvenate them from time to time and prod them on for a fresh start. But it isn’t as simple as it sounds. In a social set-up, be it formal or informal, it is never enough to be oneself.

One is often pushed around through various factors to fit in or conform and it becomes more like a suffocating race rather than a leisurely walk. It could be following the ever changing trends in attire, looks, or body type on a cosmetic level to adhering to a certain ideology or culture and traditions: that may be the more populist ones, not necessarily the right ones.

Anyone or anything that doesn’t fit in sticks out conspicuously and is made to feel more like a sore thumb rather than a uniquely endowed person. If you thought that such situations barely or rarely arise you are way off the mark, in fact, if you look closely at the social fabric you will clearly see a large number of unhappy people, caught in a web that isn’t entirely of their own making but they have fallen prey to its enticing a safer conventional approach, unable to break out and follow their own dreams or living life on their own terms.

So here we are posing a couple of questions to you and would appreciate your writing in briefly with your take on them:

Q 1) How often do you feel like a misfit or a fish out of water?

Q 2) What have you done to change either your attitude or the situation?

Q 3) What according to you is the best way of raising your happiness levels?

- by भटकती Butterfly