The bone of contention

"A deadness occurs in relationships when people are no longer willing to tell each other how they really feel."

Every relationship comes with compromises and sacrifices. We all have heard this at least once from our mothers, how they sacrificed something for the family. Fathers may have a different take on it. All types of relationships require “give and take”. This phenomenon, however, is not mathematical. As humans, we are bound to expect from the people, present in our life, more from some and less from others, but expectations are an integral part of it.

Expectations are the bone of contention in relationships. Whatever you receive is what the other person is waiting for you to give. You cannot always take and take. Though giving is a gift and it is rare to find nowadays. Striking the right balance between any two people or a set of people is the key to a balanced relationship.

Balancing demands an effort, which in turn boosts the morale of those in any relationship and keeps it healthy with a free flow and exchange of emotions, thoughts and ideas. When one puts in an effort in the name of love, trust or commitment the other may expect the same degree in reciprocation, but if that doesn't happen or is done in a different way it creates dissatisfaction or an emptiness, a void that if not handled properly becomes difficult to handle later.

UNDERSTANDING PERSPECTIVES: The give and take aspect of a relationship is not as simple as it sounds. It is a complex and layered emotion that requires a lot of hard work from all those involved. Sustaining a strong relationship requires constant care and communication, and certain traits have been shown to be especially important for fostering healthy relationships. Each individual should be willing to devote time and attention to the other, but in their own way. They must also be committed to accommodating their differences, even as those change over time.

WORKING AROUND PROBLEMS: Another crucial aspect in relationships that revolves around the criteria of give and take is about talking to resolve an issue rather than to make it more difficult to handle. It helps to work around situations rather than work against each other. Sometimes it may require a simple thing like giving space to another or time.

Every human has a different philosophy to live by and follow. Judging or passing any sweeping decision, classifying anything as right or wrong, is not the way to go. But some universal rules do come in handy when dealing with relationships that can be quite fragile.

To be continued...

-Krupa Shah and S.Kashyap